Give Us Some Credit
by Penelope L
Summary: House and Cuddy reflect in her office over what they think about all of the FAN FICTIONS that we write. Crackfic if I ever saw one.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N:Sooooo bored. I have exams tomorrow and I refuse to study so this is me putting it off. Hopefully, it will be worth the D I get on my Spanish exam and I don't even want to think about US History._

_Disclaimer: I wish that I owned House and Cuddy because I would make them kiss over and over again, but I don't. I'll just try to be okay with that one epic kiss, thanks David Shore!_

"Do you ever wonder why everyone seems to think that were once madly in love or that we have an illegitimate child?" Cuddy asked House in one of their rare moments in her office when they were done for the day.

"Or how about that we're madly in love now?" House asked, a sly grin on his face.

"You know the ones that I love the most?" Cuddy asked.

"What?" House asked.

"The slashes, of course. You know, you and Wilson." Cuddy said.

"Oh, well that's easy for you to say. You have maybe a handfull of slashes between you and Cameron, and well...Thirteen. I can't say that I'm surprised, there was that one time in college..." House said, feeling the impact of her playful slap on his arm.

"_Once _that happened and I was drunk." Cuddy defended, pouring she and House cups of coffee.

"Cuddy?" House asked from the couch.

"Hmm?" Cuddy asked, passing him his coffee just the way he liked it.

"You think there may be something to this?" House asked.

"I don't know, there was that one super-hot, orgasmic, sexy time that we had together." Cuddy said.

"That we only know about of course." House said.

"Of course." Cuddy confirmed.

"When are we going to mention another sort of innuendo about it?" House said.

"I don't know, they gave me this whole baby arc. I guess I'll run with that for a while." Cuddy sighed.

"At least you have something, when's the last time you've seen Chase or Cameron?" House asked.

"Good point." Cuddy commented.

"Let's feel better." House said.

"How?" Cuddy asked.

"We could write a fic." House suggested.

"About...?" Cuddy asked.

"Wilson?" House asked.

"He's getting old." Cuddy said.

"Figuretively and literally." House said.

"Cameron?" Cuddy asked.

"Too pathetic." House said.

"House!" Cuddy said.

"Oh whatever, you know that girl is a lost little blonde beagle." House said.

Cuddy rolled her eyes and thought for a moment. "What about Chase?" Cuddy asked.

"Okay!" House said enthusiastically, making his way over to her computer.

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_A/N: I love the idea of the two of them actually reading some of the fics that we all write, I don't know if they would be appalled or thoroughly creeped out. Probably the latter of the two. :D Please, please, please **REVIEW**! _

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	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I didn't think that people would want me to continue. I think I like this story because it gives me a chance to mock the other characters and the story line, even though I'm bitching, we all know that worship the show and I would sell my soul to the devil to know complete background of House and Cuddy. :D(you know you probably would too) ENJOY!_

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"Cuddy, I bet they'll give you this supremely gorgeous child, despite it's genes." House said.

"Probably so, the baby had this whole Cali-bound dad." Cuddy said.

"I hope you get a Cabbage Patch Doll out of a baby." House said.

"Thank you." Cuddy said sarcastically.

"No problem, now what should we write about Chase?" House asked, looking at the blank screen before him.

"I don't know, what is the essence of Chase?" Cuddy asked, rolling her eyes.

"Noxema and puppy dog pouts." House said, typing a bit.

"What are you writing?" Cuddy asked.

"And Chase grabbed young Cameron's hand at the concert, she looked great in that jean jacket, almost exactly like Tiffany herself--" House spoke as he typed.

"You are _not_ writing an eighties Chameron fic!?" Cuddy said disbelievingly, on the brink of laughter.

"Believe it baby, you can't say I'm unoriginal." House said before continuing onward with fic.

"The Orange Julius!?" Cuddy laughed as she read it from the screen.

"Oh, like you don't remember it." House said.

"I think you remember it a bit too well." Cuddy said.

"Oh fuck this." House said, opening another document and typing straight smut.

"What are you doing?" Cuddy asked, appalled that he would write this in front of her.

"Like you don't know they exist." House said, going on a bit graphically.

"I wasn't aware that you wrote them." Cuddy spat.

"Give me a break, the only action they ever give me I have to pay for." House said.

"Not true, I threw myself at you." Cuddy said.

"Cuddy, I'm broody and complicated. Are you honestly telling me that you weren't expecting that. Besides, had I have a had taken your offer, we'd be out of the job in a season." House said.

"I guess, but you didn't have to have that hooker readily waiting in your office." Cuddy said.

"It's called keeping the viewers antsy, you'd know if your character had actual character." House said.

"Oh, ha ha." Cuddy said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"What color undies are you wearing?" House asked as he paused typing.

"No way." Cuddy said, refusing to divulge the information.

"I'll go with black, it seems to be a fan favorite on this site." House said.

"I hate you." Cuddy said, as she took a seat on the edge of her desk.

"Uh-huh." House muttered.

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_A/N: I'd shit twice and die(line from 'Sixteen Candles', I'm eighties crazy. Too bad I was born in the nineties.) if I saw a Chameron eighties fic. XD_

_ Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Happy Kwanzaa to the readers that have and will review, I hope you guys liked it. :)_


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